mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now
today in drama class i had to act like i was high and i literally just quoted popular text posts and i got congratulated on my performance
Life is like a camera… Focus on what’s important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out… take another shot.
― (via theskeletonofme)
i am tired of people and sexism and racism and homopobia and transphobia and ageism and slut shaming and rape culture and twats and the world in general and i’m far too young to be sick of life
FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT you are allowed to feel proud of yourself for things that might seem silly to other people, like getting better at a video game or putting together a nice outfit for the next morning or finishing a book. You deserve to feel proud for your accomplishment.
girlfriends who purposely give their boyfriends boners at inconvenient/inappropriate times are evil and powerful and should be feared
when I was in year 7 I was really weird and I had a massive crush on this boy and I said one day to a friend ‘i want to pee in his toilet’ and then a year later I was dating the same boy I had a crush on and I needed the toilet so I peed in his toilet and I only just remembered this so the moral or the story is dreams do come true
